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Sunday, April 1, 2012

LAGOS: The City I Love, Love, Love!!!

A typical Lagosian girl I am, totally in love with the city from the Murtala Mohammed International Airport to Tin Can Island Port in Apapa and quite honestly to put it frankly, what's not to like?
5 star hotels, universities, modern shopping malls and everything a city is known for, it's got.
Lagos is the perfect melting point for the best of both worlds. It is home to the rich and sophisticated elite and also provides enough litter for the ghettos of national repute. ;)
Known for it's hustle and bustle and never-ending traffic jams which by the way doesn't stop the mad scampering associated with the city, it is no wonder that it is said that, "if you can survive in Lagos, you can survive anywhere else."
Hedged in within the Atlantic Ocean, it is a beautiful port city and the most populous city in Nigeria. With a population of 7,937,932, it is also the most populous city in Africa and is estimated to be the second fastest growing city in Africa (7th fastest in the world).
Lagos was originally inhabited by the Awori subgroup of the Yoruba people. Under the leadership of their Olofin, the Awori moved to an island now called Iddo and then to the larger Lagos Island. In the 15th century the Awori settlement was attacked by the Benin Empire following a quarrel, and the island became a Benin war-camp called "Eko" under Oba Orhogba, the Oba of Benin at the time.

Lagos is a huge metropolis which originated on islands separated by creeks, such as Lagos Island, fringing the southwest mouth of Lagos Lagoon whilst protected from the Atlantic Ocean by long sand spits such as Bar Beach, which stretch up to 100 km east and west of the mouth. From the beginning, Lagos has expanded on the mainland west of the lagoon and the conurbation, including Ikeja and Agege, now reaches more than 40 km north-west of Lagos Island. Some suburbs include Ikorodu, Epe and Badagry, and more local councils have recently been created, bringing the total number of local governments in Lagos to 57.
Lagos for me is an all-rounder excelling in commerce, industry, religious establishments and let's not forget night life now. It's the perfect business zone in the day and red zone district at night and surprisingly very residential.
From the Island to the Mainland, Lagos obviously never lags behind. It boasts of a rich cultural mix and beautiful architectural edifices. There is something for everyone in that city regardless of who you are.
A quick tip and it's on the house, you have to be sharp in order to get by in Lagos otherwise O.Y.O le wa!!! 
O.Y.O---> On Your Own

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Like A Chameleon?

I remember once when I had to explain to a five year old what a chameleon was. It didn't look like too much  work and I thought it would be easy to convince her that it could turn into any color of it's surroundings in order to camouflage. After all, most five year old's and a couple of adults actually believe Superman, Spider man or even Santa Clause exist!
So it happened that after I had explained that chameleons camouflage to hide them from predators, she looked up at me ever so sweetly with her big cute eyes and asked, 'why?' and the Lord knows how I dread those questions!
'That's cause God made them that way sweetie' I answered. 'Yeah, then why didn't God make all other little animals that way so the bigger animals won't eat them up?' 'Um, he did...he just used different methods for all of them and probably some of them don't know it yet but the chameleon does.'
Note, this happened say about 2007 and this is 2012. I should have forgotten this ever happened right? My point exactly, I always seem to remember the darn-est things! Anyways, you know what they say...things aren't always as they seem? There is always more to what meets the eye...ALWAYS!
What made me remember this story? A while back, I was chatting with some people (I won't say who, even though it's not like you know or you care!) but you must know that they are Naija people like my humble self (my apologies, Aunty Dora but Naija really is the new Nigeria).
We were talking about everything that's been troubling the mother land and then some people began talking in that stupid way that I have come to associate most Nigerians with.That same stupid style of speech that hasn't gotten us anywhere as a nation. They condemn and criticize and throw heaps of dirt on the people at the helm of affairs like they could do any better themselves. Fine, our rulers suck most of the time but then again, what are you doing to make things work? If you can't make things better, you don't have the right to complain...just shut up!
I personally don't like chameleons when it comes down to it because for me, it's either you are here or there. There are times when blending in is not necessary.
  Have you ever wondered why it's the most ignorant of all men that criticize the most? Well, I have! Plus, if you ever gave them the chance they won't be able to achieve a fraction of whatever it is that they were even criticizing in the first place! As I sat there listening to all their crap, yes I was listening cause I didn't even feel the need to argue anymore. Pretty much of their argument was totally baseless and uninformed. They were clueless to put it mildly but you should have seen them speak with so much authority. So much for people who aren't interested in going back home to work upon graduation. They were saying crap as far as I was concerned but don't we all or at least the majority of us do.
I have to say before I go on that my father is no politician or big man (at least not in that sense) and I do not work for the government or whatever but then I am sick and tired of all this bullshitting.
They voted Jonathan into power and now they have turned around to say what again? Don't even deny it, I can come pick out all of you that voted for Jonathan that year! I am trying to wrap my head round this thing very well...and I can only come up with one thing. HYPOCRISY
Why? 'Cause I see chameleons all around, one moment they are blue and the next they are red! Then they wan't to come tell me what to do when they haven't figured themselves out yet! Well, I've got something to tell all such people and it's 'figure out yourselves first folks!!!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Colour Me PINK!!!!

...or red, white and a splash of yellow or whatever you fancy for valentine, just colour me love!
Happy Val's day y'all. It's here finally, one of the 3 most important dates in a year most of  my girls look forward to, asides Christmas and birthdays; genuine and fake. They present the perfect opportunities for receiving gifts (pardon my snitching ladies, I remain true to the female race though).
Okay, so I am not going to start the argument about whether or not we should do Val's or not especially as I am indifferent towards it....if you celebrate it, oh well ko kan mi and if you don't, ba ruwa na.So if you walk into my room right now with a huge bouquet of fresh and lovely smelling pink roses and chocolates, I would gladly accept them with the biggest and most beautiful smile ever. If you don't even say as much as "V" I would not bother your life. My life is simple like that....or I'd like to believe it is! ;)

Monday, February 13, 2012

See What I Saw Oh!!!!

N1.8 Billion Jeeps For Nigerian Senators

SENATORS may, this week, take delivery of their official Toyota Land Cruiser jeeps, The Nation on Sunday can reveal.

The cost per unit of the 2011 model of the jeep obtained from the manufacturer's website is $100,724 - about N16,115, 840. The total cost of the vehicles for the 109 senators is put at over N1.7 billion.

A competent source in the National Assembly told our correspondents yesterday that the senators opted for the Land Cruiser jeep because of its unique features.
In the sixth Senate, senators settled for Toyota Camry at a unit cost of N9 million.
Some of the features of the Land Cruiser obtained online include: Displacement cc - 4500; Transmission - Automatic; and Fuel Type - Diesel.

Sources said "no contractor" was used in purchasing the vehicles. The National Assembly Service Commission reportedly handled the purchase transaction.
The Commission, sources said, might have opted to buy directly from the manufacturer to reduce cost. Sources said the delivery of the vehicles will be in batches while vehicle documents would be handed over to individual senators in their offices after delivery.

It was also gathered that furnishing of offices of senators would commence this week as contracts for the supply of refrigerators, computers and other office equipment have been sealed.

I know right? I did a double take myself. No but seriously now who wants to vote me into the Senate, I won't do this oh!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Morning After......

They get better as they come you know. Yeah, they do....depending on how you spent the night before. Friday nights like yesterday (which are by the way a personal favorite) always make for interesting Saturday stories, reason being cause one can wake up by half past 3 and waste away the remaining part of the day or maybe not.
So I happen to have my head screwed on properly and my speech ain't incoherent like some chick who had a rough last night. ;)
Amazing how Friday nights can organize your Saturdays for you. You know there are Saturdays you have woken  up to see your body mangled in some gory position with you feeling all sick and you are thinking what the hell??? You open your eyes and then squint as you try to recognize where exactly on Earth you are. As soon as you have that figured out, you scramble out of bed to at least get some cold water cause you feel dehydrated and your throat feels dry. As soon as you are up standing, that nagging head ache begins and your knees are all wobbly. You begin to cuss under your breath cause you almost missed your step trying to imagine how knocked out you could have been the previous night for you not to take off 'em strappy heels.
So it begins, your walk of shame to the kitchen with you staggering/cat-walking and tugging at your mini, pushing back your balloons into your top (or for some people, adjusting the padded wonders) =)
Upon your arrival at the kitchen however, you realize your friends already beat you to it and everyone is hustling "indomie." So you reach for the fridge and pour out your drink. As you bless God for the gift of water, the stench of sardine hits you in the nose and you get all "throw-up'ish." Why????
After a quick meal and a most refreshing shower, your friends reel out every detail of how someone at the table  right there and then misbehaved at the club last night after having a little to much to drink? Who? You! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!
The headache goes up notches but guess what? Next Friday night it's going to be just like Katty P sang, you'd do it aaaaaaaaall again!!! Even though, during all the partying the DJ did y'all a favor by playing Black Magic's song. (Who if not a Benin boy would call himself that? that's just by the way though). I digress. "You know how you drink today would surely affect tomorrow. Oh Oh Oh....but what do you do? You keep drinking all of that alcohol and kissing all those fine fine gehs singing "tomorrow would sort itself all out, tomorrow would sort itself all out." What if you never see the tomorrow? Just saying. Yes, be very afraid! hahahahahahahaha  *playing that scary music in the background. doom doom dooom!!!!* lol
I am not done yet. How about the Friday night date? :)
Nice civil evening with just you two. So you grab a bite, see a movie, lick ice cream and do all those things love birds do. Getting quite late now so you head back to his place. Watch tv, talk, kiss, get all cuddly and stuff then the inevitable happens. Only thing is someone forgot to get a rubber and so the next morning the babe panics cause he went all the way. None of them is ready to have some little baby call her mama or him, pop. So what happens, he drives her to the pharmacy and they ask for the pills. Which ones? The morning after pills. Trust me, Saturdays always record the highest sales for that thing, no seriously. No one actually waits till the third day, better to nip it in the bud I guess. I digress again.
And yet another scenario. The sleep over with or without the alcohol. Same thing happens anyway, you tell your secrets that no one else should know and it's always used against you in a future fight which is most likely to occur on a Saturday, let's face it that's when we have extra free time more or less.
Or you could go for a vigil which will greatly improve your life. Thing is, most of the people I know sleep through such things. Pity. My Dad always gets this brilliant ideas when he wakes up after a vigil. Says God gives them to him and so I wonder. It's probably an answer to prayers prayed at the vigil? I think it's called revelation? Anyways, what did you do last night? You don't need to tell me but then...are your Fridays killing you? Yeah, cause your uterus and your lungs, kidneys and your head suffering all those migraines are actually a part of you. Or are your Fridays building you? Cause your mind when sharpened is for your benefit and others too. This is the part I sign out before you think I've been ordained or something. Not like it's a bad thing oh, it's just...I am not ordained.
P.S: Oh yeah, I know not everyone knows that tomorrow song I mentioned earlier so I'm putting it up for you to get the drift of what I was saying.