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Friday, February 10, 2012

Tizzle Rambling....

I heard my friend Chinyere say something once. It was during one of those periods in which a friend of ours was going through a rough break up and needed her home girls for support. She said, "Trust is like an eraser, which diminishes over time after continuous usage" or something of the sorts. Then, everyone sounded smart and I somehow managed to keep all they said in the recesses of my amazing mind. :)

Years later, say about 3 to be precise, I am actually brooding over this whole issue repeating the same quote to myself, typing this....

No, I am not heartbroken at the moment, haven't been in the recent past either...or maybe I am just a little, look what I'm trying to say is this has nothing to do with some boy and me if that's what you are thinking cause it probably is, suite yourself. ;)

Trust issues are the worst so far by any standard in my own opinion. It's horrible finding out that the one person(s) you have been pouring yourself out too in all honesty has been economical with the truth on their part all the while. "Then you shouldn't have said anything at all stupid! You really thought I won't find out? You really do think I am stupid, don't you?" The emotions come out strong and you begin to realise how much you have modified yourself to tolerate that person. You find out that you've never really liked the way they spoke their English (my God, it sucks and can't they like speak any language fluently other than pidgin?) You never for once liked their friends but so it won't be like you're forming....oh well! But I still love you though, I think!
You feel guilty cause you wasted time even bothering to care and to open up about yourself.
What's worse? You defend the lies the person told you in the faces of a bunch of know-it-all's. It hurts like mad. I know the feeling...I should know.
No, not boyfriend matters, I repeat seriously. I know what this looks like but it's not. This is how I vent, I'm just so weird like that I know!
Trust issues, you don't want none of that stuff trust me. pierces through your left ventricle like a knife.
Last line however, The Golden Rule: Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You.
You don't want me to lie to you, then don't lie to me simple. Cause right now, I have a very good mind to make you suffer for lying. The only thing stopping me? I know what goes around always comes around......

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